We all have that one friend(or friends) who is the very definition of ‘Alpha’. Everywhere he or she goes, he or she exerts this aura of charisma. They cause heads to turn just by the determined look in their eyes, every time they speak, the crowd grows silent. Calm and collected, they fear nothing, they do not shied away from obstacles and challenges, instead they walk towards it with their heads held high. In short, they are what we refer to as ‘badass‘.

We all look up to them and want to have their level of confidence, to possess their level of charisma, to be ‘Alpha’. It’s no easy task, but fear not, listed below are 6 ways you can improve your self-esteem and become a more confident person:


1) Do not compare yourself with others.

Yes, the first thing you should do is stop comparing yourself with others. I know, this might sound contradictory, considering how I just mentioned how we look up to our confident friends, but what I mean is that while we can look up to our friends, we should never feel inferior to them. Often, we look at what others possess or achieved and feel we aren’t up to par compared to them. Remind yourself that you are not inferior to them, you are just different. It’s okay to be different. Try your best not to compare yourself with those around you. Reject the inferiority complex! You are as good any anyone!

“Don’t compare yourself with anyone in the world. If you do so you are just insulting yourself.”

– Bill Gates


2) Mix with confident people

One of the best ways to be confident is to mix with confident people. Even if you are the most confident person in the world, it would be an uphill battle to keep your self-esteem up if most of the imput you receive on a daily basis are negative. Find a group of confident people who will encourage you to surround yourself with and lessen your exposure to negative people. Start spending less time with nervous perfectionist, pessimist and unsupportive people. Instead, spend more time with positive, confident and uplifting people who will support and encourage you. In fact, if you feel that doing something makes you unsure of yourself, stop doing it! Do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself instead!


3) Adopt a confident posture and smile.

The correct postures can do wonders to change how other people perceive you, and how you view yourself. Just by simply pulling back your shoulders and standing up straight, you can give those around you the impression that you are a confident person. Also, don’t forget to smile! Smiling not only makes you seem more friendly and approachable, it also makes people look at you and think: ‘Wow, he/she sure is comfortable with himself.’ Besides, it takes less muscles to smile than to frown anyways! There are also many other postures that you can try which will make you feel and appear more confident as well. Do check out this article on power poses!


4) Be ready for whatever is coming up.

Do you have a speech to present later in the day? An interview perhaps? Or even a test? When you’re not prepared, it’s common for you to feel nervous and unsure of yourself. You might even start doubting whether you can do what needs to be done and that will make things worse. Therefore, always prepare beforehand. Memorize your speech beforehand, think of answers for questions you might be asked in your interview(write them down and read through them!), start revising long before the test! Be prepared not just mentally, but physically as well! Set aside enough time for yourself to prepare so that when the time comes, you’ll know that you have tried your best and do what needs to be done with confidence.


5) Look your best.

Always try to look your best no matter the occasion. Make sure your hair is always well-kept and that you are clean shaven. Whenever you are going to an event, make sure you’re well dressed. In short, just look nice. By making sure you look your best, you will feel more reassured and comfortable because now, you won’t have to worry that others will look at you questioning your fashion sense. For some events, it might even be appropriate to overdress. Believe in dressing for success and remember, one can never be too overdressed! Whenever you dress up nicely, you will leave a better first impression, feel better and more assured of yourself and finally exert an aura of confidence. So dress the part now!

“Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
– Mark Twain


6) Work towards a goal.

Sit down, reflect on yourself and set yourself a goal(making sure your progress is measurable.) Whenever you set yourself a goal, you are encouraging yourself to try something new and to step out from your comfort zone. When you do this, your opinion of yourself will slowly improve. And when you start to believe in yourself, others will naturally start to believe in you as well. It doesn’t matter if you meet any setbacks, remember that life is full of obstacles and we will all meet setbacks. It’s natural. Just know that whenever you fail, you’ll be learning something and you’ll become a better person than you were before. By having a goal and working towards it, you are constantly improving no matter the outcome, and that is something to feel good about!

Before I end this article, I would like to say that we should all learn to improve our self-esteem. If we do not have respect for  and feel comfortable with ourselves, we cannot expect others to have respect for and feel comfortable with us. Remember, believe in yourself and others will follow!


“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
J.M. Barrie
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
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