Most of the time, our emotions are affected by the actions of others. Let’s face it, we care about what other people think of us, we care about how people treat us. When people praise you, you’ll feel good. When people treat you well, you’ll feel great. And because of that, sometimes, you’ll feel hurt and dejected when people use harsh words against you. Getting hurt by the words of others is not the worst case scenario. The worst thing that could happen is that we lose our confidence, we let the words trample our self-esteem and we allow those words to destroy our winning mentality.
We also can’t deny that we are constantly being affected by our surrounding – the weather, the news, the economic situation. When the weather is hot, we’ll feel frustrated. When we hear about tragic news, our emotions also get influenced negatively. When our country is not economically stable, we start to worry about our jobs. We start to live a miserable life.
This happen all the time. Our emotions are both directly and indirectly affected by the people and the environment around us.
However, we are the one who grant them the power to control our emotions. We are the one who allow them to affect our mood.
Are you like this?
Recall the time when you are emotionally unstable – depressed, disappointed, hurt & etc.
Is it because of something that is happening around you? Is your mood based on how others treat you?
“I had worked so hard for my company in the past. But my boss doesn’t even acknowledge my effort…”
“I have put in so much effort for our relationship. Why did she still choose to break up with me? I had sacrificed so much for her…”
“My ideas got rejected by boss again. This is the tenth time this has happened.”
“I have spent so much time studying for this paper. Why did I still get such horrible grades. It isn’t fair. I worked so hard.”
“Why does my family not appreciate what I have done for them? I have done so much for them, and they never seem to even notice it.”
Or, the harsh insults from others?
“You’re so ugly and fat!”
“If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.”
“It’s a shame to be with you!”
Have these scenarios happened to you before? If your answer is yes, then I guess what happens next is:
You feel demotivated. You lack the momentum to move on, to keep going. You give up. You lose hope. You become depressed.
And the worst thing could happen? You die inside while you are still alive.
Why do we feel this way?
Like what I mentioned above, we are the ones who give others and our environment the power to control our emotions. We CAN choose how we response to the things that are happening around us, therefore, we SHOULD.
Imagine if some random stranger said this to you. How does it feel? Well, you will probably feel nothing.
Now, imagine if your closest friends/family said this to you. It hurts.
You see, with the same criticism from different people, we will have different response. We have the ability to choose how we respond to negativity. However, we tend to respond with a negative attitude, thus causing ourselves to be in a bad mood. It’s an automatic response. Our mind is wired this way.
We respond to negativity with even more negativity. We are almost always the one who worsen the situation.
What if we change our response?
No one can hurt you without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
You can choose your own emotional state. Happy or sad, you are the one who decides it. Yes, we are influenced by the environment easily, we have emotions. But in the end, we are still the one who is in charge of our actions, emotions and attitude.
Change the way you respond to negativity. I know it’s not easy. It takes time and self-awareness to do so. It requires practice.
Source: Hp Lyrikz
Here’s what you can do to take control of your own emotions:
Whenever something bad happen, it’s okay to get emotional for a short time. It’s okay to get affected emotionally by these things. It’s normal. We are human after all. There’s nothing wrong with getting emotional. Never force yourself to be emotionless. That’s not my point.
Set a time frame for yourself to be emotional. 3 days, 3 week, or 3 months, it depends on how hard the situation is.
Then, try these 3 steps to take control of your emotions:
1. Step back and look at the whole situation again.
This time try to look at it from different perspectives. Try to view the negativity and criticism in a positive light.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”
― Albert Einstein
Similarly, we cannot overcome our problems with the same perspective.
2. Ask yourself: 10 years from now, will it still matter?
No. Remember the events that hurt you 10 years ago? I’m guessing your answer will be no. The bottom line is that no matter what you’re facing now (the negativity), it doesn’t really matter in the future unless it’s something tragic.
3. Express gratitude.
Expressing gratitude is the classic way to feel positive despite the negative environment around us. Focus on positivity. Think of all the good things that has happened to you in the past. Think of how lucky you are compared to others. When you realize you are that much better off compared to others, you won’t feel as bad when bad stuff happen to you.
Our behaviors are influenced by our perceptions. By practicing these 3 steps, you are able to change the way you look at negativity, thus you’ll be able to respond in a different and better way. You will be more likely to react rationally, without the influence of your emotions. When your emotions go wild again, you will be more aware of the conditions causing it and get yourself out of the emotional pit more easily.
NO MATTER THE SITUATION, NEVER LET YOUR EMOTIONS OVERPOWER YOUR INTELLIGENCE.
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