In life, there will be times where life is rough. There will be times where everyone else looks down upon you. There will be times when people doubt you. And eventually, you may also end up joining them and begin doubting yourself. You’ll perceive yourself as a useless person, and think that you are incapable of achieving anything great in your life.
The Common Experience
Let me tell you one thing: If you think that you’re useless, you’re not alone. There are hundreds and thousands of people out there that may be facing the same situation as you.
Different people live different lives. You might be envious of how lucky someone else’s life is. However, you never see the other sides of their lives – the hard times, the struggle, and the problems they had to overcome. Life is full of ups and downs, but most of the time, we only see the ups of one’s life. We then tend to compare their good times to our bad times, their strengths to our weaknesses. It’s like comparing apples and oranges, it’s impractical and frankly, not logical.
Remember, we only see a part of people’s lives. Everyone faces hardships in their own lives. We all have one thing in common, which is our lives are always full of ups and downs.
So, do you think you’re useless? Well, you’re not the only one. At least, I can tell you that I have been there before too. I too have doubted my own abilities and was unclear with what is my strength in the past.
Keep in mind, at some point in our lifetime, we will be struggling with hardships, doubting our own abilities, or indulging in negativity, but eventually we will overcome it.
Figure Out The Reason
You think you’re useless. But, what are the reasons behind this? What makes you doubt yourself and label yourself as a useless person?
Before solving the problem, we must first know the source of the problem. What caused it? You can’t regain your confidence without knowing how you lost it. You need to identify the reasons.
There are thousands of different reasons that might have caused you to doubt yourself. Here are some general ones that might be the reasons which led to self-doubt:
- Lack of recognition/appreciation. For the past few months, no one showed any appreciation for your efforts. No matter how hard you worked, how much effort you put in or how good you were, no one saw it. You feel that none of the people around you see the value in you. Your boss, your parents or your spouse doesn’t recognise your hard work. You need to feel appreciated, recognised, to regain your confidence.
- Criticism. People always criticize you for what you are doing. No matter how good you perform, there are only destructive comments, instead of constructive ones. Harsh words always come to you, non-stop.
- Unclear about your strength. You don’t know yourself well enough. You don’t really know what you’re good at. You haven’t found your talent. You’ve lost your vision. What you are clear about is – your weakness. You know what you’re bad at. The worse possible scenario? You put your weakness under a microscope and enlarge it. In short, there is an imbalance between your strength and weakness, which led to self-doubt.
Here’s what to do:
1. Stop expecting appreciation/praise/recognition.
“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.”
Yes, it’s really disappointing and demotivating when we do something great but no one appreciates our effort. But, 10 years later, will it still matter? Why do you want to rely on the appreciation of others to feel good about yourself, to believe in your abilities?
You have to understand, not everybody knows how to show gratitude, and not every boss knows how to give credit. Just look at yourself, when was the last time you appreciated someone’s effort? When was the last time you said “thank you” to somebody? When was the last time you wrote a thank-you-note to someone?
You see, it’s not that your effort didn’t make an impact, is just that people seldom appreciate the effort of others. Even without appreciation or praise, it doesn’t mean that you’re useless or incapable of getting things done. So, stop expecting it! Do what you should be doing!
Instead of dwelling on the thought that no one is recognising your effort, shift your attention to somewhere else. There is no point in thinking about that. Focus on doing things that your future self will thank you for, not dwelling on the past.
2. Respond to criticism in the right way.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
– Mahatma Ghandi
When there are harsh comments about you, it hurts a lot. But why would you want to allow the criticism of others to hurt you? Why would you want to let the negative comments of others influence your level of confidence? Why would you give them the power to do so?
You have the power to choose how to respond to these situations. But, you choose to respond to it in the wrong way, you choose to respond to it with negativity. You choose to doubt your own abilities and label yourself as a useless person.
Instead, you should accept their criticism and thank them. It doesn’t mean that you’re agreeing with it. When someone critics us, it’s either because they want to help us improve or they want to break us down. But it doesn’t matter anyway if you treat every criticism as a positive feedback to improve yourself with.
3. Have faith in yourself.
You have to understand, people will judge what you no matter what you do. They may criticize your actions, and they may neglect your hard work, but never doubt yourself because of that.
Everyone exists for a reason. Everyone is good at something in their lives. It just takes time to find out what you’re good at. I don’t know how long it will take, but if there is one thing I am sure of, it’s that if you continue dwelling on the thought that you are “useless”, you will never find it, ever.
But, if you believe in yourself and never give up on yourself, one day you’ll find the answer you’re looking for. Good things take time, be patient.
If you think you’re useless, you are the one who think so. You are the one who decides to perceive yourself in such a way. You are the one who is responsible for feeling so. So, take the responsibility and make a change!
If you give up on yourself, nobody can help you anymore.
If you don’t even have faith in yourself, nobody will too.
If you want to change, start from yourself, change your mind set.
Are you useless or successful? In the end, it’s you who decides.
NEVER LET NEGATIVITY BEAT YOU DOWN.
Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.
Thanks : )