Undeniably, life is a roller-coaster ride. It’s filled with ups and downs. Hard times are inevitable. Despite being part and parcel of life, instead of learning how to embrace it, many of us always try to escape from it.
Everyone will definitely face some tragic events in their lives, be it broken relationships, betrayals, failures or the lost of direction in life. It’s extremely hard to handle these situations as we aren’t used to facing these situations. We are inexperienced in handling the hard times. We are inexperienced in tolerating the high degree of pain or disappointment associated with these hard times.
Those heartbroken moments, either from losing of a long-time friend or a breakup with your partner, aren’t easy to handle. The degree of pain associated with experiencing such events is unimaginable. The mixed feelings after experiencing such events are quite overwhelming indeed.
But no matter how hard life is, there will always be hope out there. Things may not get better immediately. But eventually, everything will be better. It took 20 years to build the great pyramid, not 20 hours. It’s the same with overcoming the pain in our lives. It just takes time to heal.
The Ways to Handle Hard Times:
1. Change your mindset.
In a given situation, different people react in different ways. What causes people to have different reactions to the same circumstances? Come to think of it, it’s probably the mindset that one has. Your mindset determines how you look at things. In this case, it decides how you perceive your pain and struggles. Ultimately, your perception will determines how you are going to react, that’s why it’s essential to start by changing your mindset.
During hard times, one may sees themselves as powerless, thus allowing the hard times to break them down. Others may believe that they have the power to make a change and overcome those obstacles… and they do!
In the end, your perception about circumstances decides your reaction. And, your reaction determines your emotion and feelings. Action creates emotion. If you want to change how you feel, start by changing what you’re doing.
To reduce your emotional pain, start by doing things that make you happy. Perhaps a single smile might influence how you feel for the rest of your day.
2. Stay positive.
Again, an old but gold advice. Everyone knows this, it is common sense, but how many actually believe in it? Staying positive in the worst time isn’t easy. We have emotions and it requires a high degree of self-control to act rational during hard times.
Just like how everyone knows that exercise is beneficial, but that alone doesn’t make everyone automatically integrate exercise into their daily routine. We need assistance, advice, or some tips and tricks to apply it into our lives. It’s the same about staying positive. We know we must stay positive during hard times, but the ultimate question is how?
Remember what I mentioned just now? Action defines emotion. According to a psychological research, even faking a smile can improves your mood and reduces your stress. If you want to stay positive, start by doing it. A simple smile, lending a helping hand to those in need, practicing positive self-talk with yourself or some random act of kindness is more than enough.
It may not change your life immediately, but things will definitely get better from there onwards. A little by a little, you will eventually fill up your life with positive energy – the thing you need the most during hard times.
3. Stop thinking, start doing.
When life gets rocky, we always try our best to solve our existing problems. We push our brains to the limit just to look for solutions. We focus all of our energy on the problems, instead of acting on it.
We spend too much time and energy looking for the perfect solution. This process itself has drained most of our energy. Heck, you don’t need the perfect solution to start doing. In fact, there is no such thing as perfect solution.
Just start doing the necessary things. Just start doing the one simple thing that your future self will thank you for. Stop looking for the ultimate solution, and start taking the little actions that might change all of your tomorrows.
It doesn’t have to be something that will have a huge impact on your life. Developing a habit to walk 20 minutes per day may be more than enough to help you stay energize and fight through your hard times.
4. Determination is the key.
A skyscraper isn’t built in one day. It takes times and consistent effort, accumulated day in and day out, to achieved that.
Most of the problems in the world aren’t solved immediately. It is the same with experiencing hardships. We go through hard times progressively, not immediately. There is no magic pill in this world that will cure your “diseases” immediately. There are no shortcuts to getting rid of these hardships. There is no overnight success.
Determination and perseverance are needed to get through such situations. It doesn’t really matter whether you have found the solution. Every small step you take will definitely bring you one step closer to the end of your rough patch.
If your determination is strong enough, hardships will never ever break you down. It sounds simple, yet it’s difficult to develop a determined mindset within ourselves. While I’m not an expert in this field, here are some suggestions:
- Develop a positive mindset. Being optimistic is important as it will definitely reduce the mental stress we might face during hard times. In other words, it becomes much easier to stay determined through the hardships.
- Believe that things will get better. I will discuss this more specifically below.
5. Have faith.
If determination is an important aspect to get you through the hard times, then having a strong belief is the ingredients that will make you preserve through the hardships.
If you believe things will get better, you’ll never lose hope. If you never lose hope, you’ll never give up. If you never give up, you’ll definitely preserve through the hard times. It’s a pretty simple logic, right?
Every single thing takes time to become better. It’s the same with hardships. It just takes times to get better. Time heals wounds. It’s just a matter of the duration. Some takes a longer duration to get better, some fortunately takes a shorter duration to get better. Anyway, in the end, the hard times will pass.
Long or short, a strong belief is what you really need. Start believing and surround yourself with positive energy. If you can’t do anything to solve your problems, at least, have faith in yourself, and you’ll start to see the differences.
To make it through the hard times, we must first understand that the only thing we have control over is our reaction to the circumstances. We can’t change the things happening around us, but we can change ourselves. Focus on what you have control over.
“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” — Stephen R. Covey
We are the products of our decisions. Ultimately, we are the ones who are responsible for our own life. We decide our own future. So, start focusing on how you react, instead of the circumstances. Focus on what you can do and stop worrying about the hard times. Keep in mind that worrying never make things better.